


But What Are Ye Doing Then?

by OnlyOneWoman



Series: Black Sails Domestic Fluff [3]
Category: Black Sails
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, Dorks, Drunkenness, Flirting, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gay men are a little mean to straight women, Gunnbones, Insufferable couples, James is a Dork, Love, M/M, Misunderstandings, Moving to a new flat, Needlework, No Angst, Pirate Husbands, Ridiculousness, Sappy, silverflint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 15:37:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8451979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyOneWoman/pseuds/OnlyOneWoman
Summary: Yeah, more ridiculousness with the dorks James, John, Billy and Ben. This time, John and James are moving to London, not far from Billy and Ben, and for some reason it's all about knitting, raspberry meringue pie and teasing innocent straight women. I should get a life... But this is much more fun!





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thewalruscaptain (nightly_division)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightly_division/gifts).



”Sweetheart…”  
”Yeah?”  
”Exactly _what_ do you think you’re doing?”  
  
John was standing, arms crossed, in the doorway with his ”I’m sure you have some fucking explanation to this, but it wont be good enough” expression on his face. James was half sitting, half laying on the bed in his bathrobe, knitting.  
  
Yes. John Silver’s freckled, ginger dork of a husband was fucking _knitting_. John threw out his hands, looking all exasperated, not to mention tired, after a whole day of packing the last stuff for the move to London next morning, and the incredibly stupid idea to end it all with a trip to Ikea, to look for a new bed. Not that it wasn’t needed – they’d needed a new bed for at least two months – but why be so stupid to do it the same day? The bed was, thank God, to be delivered straight to their new flat, but still.  
  
And now, for some fucking reason, John’s husband had decided to give their old bed a farewell gift, by sitting like a crazy cat lady on it, _knitting_. John could only point at the knits while James looked all too calm and pleased with himself.  
  
”I’m knitting.”  
”Yeah, I… kind of see that…”  
”Then why did you ask?”  
  
James loved when he managed to leave John speechless. It didn’t happen very often, so every time it did, James enjoyed it shamelessly. He kept knitting on something that looked like a sweater and John just gaped. James looked far too amused.  
  
”What’s the matter, honey? Cat got your tongue?”  
”Why, may I ask, are _you_ … knitting?”  
”I’m tired of reading. Come to bed now, we’re leaving early tomorrow.”  
”Keep freaking me out like this, and I’m leaving too!”  
  
John, well aware that he was pouting, pulled the cover over his head and heard James chuckle and put those fucking knits away. He felt his husband worming himself under the cover and John snorted.  
  
”I know that you’re up to something, James Silver McGraw, and if you don’t want a very annoying husband tomorrow morning, you’re telling me right now.”  
  
James kissed his neck and chuckled.  
  
”Remember when I was thinking about sky diving?”  
”Which you’re still forbidden to do for as long as I’m alive and no, I don’t want to try it, thank you very much.”  
”Yes, yes, I know. Anyhow, you told me to get a less deadly hobby, so I figured I’d take up yours.”  
”Without even asking me for advice? And keeping it secret?”  
”I wanted to surprise you.”  
”You succeeded. Who taught you?”  
”Looked up som videos on Youtube and then I asked Ben for some advice.”  
  
John, who still looked hurt, took up the knitting and examined it. James rose his eyebrows.  
  
”Well? What’s the verdict?”  
”It’s good. Really good. But I’m still a bit disappointed you didn’t tell me…”  
”You know how I am when learning something new, honey. I always end up shouting and yelling and I thought I’d spare you that. Not very relaxing.”  
  
John hold the yarn work in his hands and smiled.  
  
”So you’re admitting it?”  
”What?”  
”That it’s relaxing.”  
  
James made a grimaze and smiled, but starting to laugh when John shoved his fingers in his stomach.  
  
”Alright, alright, I admit it! It’s relaxing and funny and I was a complete idiot for teasing you about it! Hands off me, silly poodle!”  
  
***  
  
In a house about forty miles away from James and John, another silly couple was getting ready for bed. Ben Gunn Manderly was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, putting some lotion on his nose with a very displeased look on his face.  
  
Billy snuck up behind his husband and laid a hand on his waiste.  
  
”You look gorgeous.”  
”Maybe if you think Rudolph the red nosed reindeer is gorgeous.”  
”Come on, it’s not that bad.”  
”But it’s stupid. Should’ve weared that fucking hat and don’t say I told you so.”  
”You said it yourself.”  
  
Ben snorted and Billy gave him a kiss on his neck.  
  
”Ready for the world’s most grumpy and annoying move ever tomorrow?”  
”No, but the thought of getting drunk keeps me up. We’re gonna need a lot of coffee and then the same amount of booze.”  
”You think John and James want to go out tomorrow?”  
”They said they wanted to, but I can’t imagine how they’d manage that after a week of packing, then driving forty miles early in the morning and move into the new flat.”  
”Oh, I wouldn’t mind the four of us getting drunk and have dinner in a not so respectable place.”  
  
Ben laughed at him.  
  
”Isn’t that exactly what you usually call our kitchen? But I agree. Would be nice to just get some half decent food and get wasted. Preferably among people who aren’t too decent or too straight.”  
”Actually I would prefer if the guys were straight and the girls very, very lesbian.”  
”Billy Gunn Manderly, could you spell the word ’jealousy’ for me?”  
  
Billy just gave him a playful slap on the ass and kissed him.  
  
”You underestimate how irrestistable you are.”  
”Oh, really? From what I remember, the last time we were out, both the waitress and the women at the table next to us, starred at your arms as soon as they thought we didn’t notice.”  
”The did not.”  
”You didn’t notice. You never notice when girls are staring or flirting with you.”  
”Maybe because I’ve never taken notice of girls in the first place?”  
  
Ben rolled his eyes.  
  
”But I do, when they’re gaping over my husband.”  
”And you say _I’m_ jealous?”  
”Noticing when people drool over you, aint jealousy. James would understand this.”  
”Well, then cry on his shoulder.”  
”And ruin my non-existing make-up? Don’t be silly.”  
  
Billy loved his husband. The self-distance and humour, the brilliant mind… Yes, Ben was fucking brilliant. You didn’t get a job as a mathematic professor at a prestigious university if you were any less than brilliant. Billy was extremely proud of Ben and so was Ben of his a husband. Billy was a pediatric psychiatric nurse, working with kids who’d been through different traumas and he was very apprectiated among both his collueges, the parent and his little patients.  
  
Ben was also well liked on his new job. Switching back to teaching after two years as a business economist on a big company was the third best decision Ben had made in his life, next to marry Billy and study math. Endless meetings, boring business trips and even more boring parties and dinners with costumers really wasn’t his cup of tea and the last months before he decided to search for the position at the university, Ben had been downright depressed.  
  
Having a pediatric psychiatrist nurse as a husband, didn’t mean Billy could read thoughts though, especially not when he was exhausted from an overloaded working day himself. It had all come to an end when Ben one day ended up having a panic attack while driving home from work.  
  
Billy had, of course, demanded he’d seen a psychiatrist while being home sick and Ben was too tired to argue. After a month or so, he was still exhausted, but started to dive into some of his old math problems, just to keep his mind a little occupied. The thought to quit his job as an economist and start teaching again had come so natural it didn’t even felt like a big decision and Billy, of course, supported the idea. Since four months, Ben was back teaching again and felt much better. The prospect of going out for a dinner with his best friends and celebrate their move to London was something he’d looked forward to a long time.  
  
***  
  
”Finally!”  
  
James sighed heavily and dried some sweat from his forehead. They were all dripping with sweat and more than once, Billy had cursed over all the boxes with James’ books, that could propably fill a small library. But now, at least everything was in the apartment and, even sorted out in the rooms the different furniture and boxes belonged. There was only one tiny problem, as John discovered.  
  
”James…”  
”Yes, babe?”  
”We have no water.”  
” _What?_ ”  
  
How wonderful. Four men dribbling with sweat in a new house that didn’t have water. While James cursed at the tap – like it would make any difference – and Billy googled for plummers, John went outside to call the realtor and Ben did what they should’ve done: checked out the city homepage for news.  
  
”Guys, there’s no point in calling anyone.”  
”Why?”  
  
James took a sip from his almost empty bottle.  
  
”Because apparently, there’s a leak in the conduit in this area and there are like thousands of households with no water now.”  
  
John groaned.  
  
”Fucking unbelievable. Does it say when it’ll be fixed?”  
”Can’t say, it’s quite a big leak and the preliminary time is set to seven am tomorrow.”  
”Is it in our street as well?”  
”No.”  
  
Billy sighed and looked at James and John.  
  
”There’s nothing to it. Unless you want to piss in the bushes, reek from sweat and buy a shitload of bottled water, I guess you’re staying with us tonight.”  
  
The couple nodded. Of course it was the best thing to do and they packed a nightbag and went with Billy and Ben to their house. John practically ran to the bathroom.  
  
”I call dibs on the shower!”  
”Like hell!”  
  
James blocked the way and Ben just rolled his eyes before going out to the garden for some peace and quiet, while Billy took the opportunity of shoving the wrestling couple aside and take the bathroom.  
  
***  
  
About one and a half hour later, all four of them had washed away the traces from the move and, as one could expect, they were all hungry as hell. Before John and James had a chance to start arguing about where they would go for dinner, Ben decided for a dive within walking distance that served quite nice fish’n chips and had really good ale. Just as Billy was about to lock the door, John ran back inside.  
  
”Just a minute! I need my bag. Ben, come with me.”  
”What for?”  
”Just come!”  
  
Ben went with him and Billy exchanged a questioning look with James. The ginger sighed.  
  
”I’ve stopped asking long ago.”  
  
 John was the expert of delaying things by forgetting one thing or another. A minute later, John came back with his old satchel and looked a little bit too innocent. Ben had his bag too and looked very amused. Billy just shook his head.  
  
”Are we going now, or what?”  
  
Ben gave him a pat on the cheek.  
  
”You have the keys, sweetheart.”  
  
***  
  
Ben didn’t like crowded places in general and Billy got bored from drunk people and mainstream radio music. But it wasn’t only Billy and Ben who found it a bit tedious to go out sometimes. Having a very attractive husband who’s smile provided him with more free drinks in one evening, than James would get in a year, wasn’t always funny. James was actually quite grateful they were going to an ordinary pub, and so was John.  
  
The place was quite crowded, since it was a Saturday, and a the smaller tables wasn’t big enough for four. There was, how ever, a free table for eight that wasn’t reserved, so they took that, swallowed their fish’n chips and then enjoyed their ales, that quickly turned to two, three and four.  
  
They were all tired and a bit tipsy, when James and Ben had to hit the loo and they left the table. In the meantime, Billy and John talked about the latest Dream Theater album, until an unfamiliar voice inerrupted them.  
  
”Excuse me. Are these seats taken?”  
  
Four girls around twentyfive in high heels were standing next to their table. Billy scratched his stubble.  
  
”Um… actually…”  
”Please, our feet hurt and it’s crowded. We really need to rest a little.”  
  
John gestured them to have a seat and he and Billy moved further in. The blonde girl next to John smiled widely and reached out her hand.  
  
”Hello, I’m Cindy. Nice to meet you.”  
”Hello, Cindy, nice to meet you too. My name’s John Silver McGraw and this is my friend Billy Gunn Manderly.”  
  
The three other girls, Liza, Valerie and Rachael, shook their hands enthusiasticly with teasing smiles and John tried to hide his amusement when he saw his friends lack of response.  
  
Billy wasn’t half as good as reading people as he was, and it was more than obvious to John that Billy couldn’t care less about the flirting attempts. He quickly texted Billy and his friend frowned when he read it. _The girl with the curly hair is flirting with you. Don’t tell her you’re married._ Billy’s very confused face made the girl crouch closer and he quickly answered. _Why?!_ John texted back, while simultaniously talking and smiling. _Because I want to see their faces when B and J come back. People always presume we’re straight and I want them to discover how wrong they are._  
  
Billy couldn’t help but smile. John could be a little evil when he wanted to and sure thing, this could be a fun game to play. Billy texted back. _I’m in. Let’s just act oblivious. And text J and tell him about it. He can tell B._ John smiled widely and Valerie turned to Billy with glistening eyes.  
  
”Was that your girlfriend?”  
”No. I have no girlfriend.”  
”Really? That’s a shame. So, what do you do for a living?”  
  
John often wondered why so many people wasted time on someone before making sure they were available at all. And both he and Billy wore rings so it wasn’t hard to figure that out. The phone vibrated in his pocket. _Good luck. We’re standing southwest, enjoying the view. And don’t let them scare Billy._ John turned his head and saw his husband and Ben only a couple of meters away looking very amused. Ben even grinned.  
  
Being a pediatric psychiatrist nurse, clearly was a chick magnet, as Billy quickly rediscovered. While talking about that with Valerie and Cindy, John charmed Liza and Rachael with stories about Australia. After a while, John’s hands got a little restless and he leaned down to his bag.  
  
”Excuse me, ladies, but I can’t seem to relax tonight without my meds.”  
”You’re on meds?”  
”Blue, brown and white.”  
  
John fished up his knitting like it was nothing unusual at all with a man knitting at a pub.  
  
”You know, I find it so much easier to focus when my hands are occupied. Does any of you knit? No? You should try it out, it’s really relaxing.”  
  
Billy had a very hard time not to laugh, especially when he saw Ben and James dying from choked laughter in their corner. John, being the natural actor he was, just kept talking about the benefits with needlework in general (”It’s so satisfying to work with your hands!”) and knitting in particular (”I mean, buying knitted clothes are so expensive!”) until Billy started to feel sorry for the women, who clearly looked like they’d found the man of their dreams, and were unaware of how unavailable he was.  
  
”Don’t you agree, Billy?”  
”Uhm… With what?”  
”How awesome it is to work with your hands. Especially in the garden.”  
”Yeah… yeah, it really is.”  
  
The blonde girl smiled. Billy glared at John, who kept knitting and the blonde girl turned to Billy again.  
  
”You have a big garden?”  
”Quite big, yeah. Potatos, carrots, apples and stuff.”  
”Isn’t it lots of work?”  
”It is, but it’s my husband who’s doing the most of it, so I don’t complain.”  
”Husband?”  
”Yeah. Best man you could imagine. Don’t know where he… Oh, here he is!”  
  
Billy smiled fondly at Ben, who gave the company his most friendly smile when he approached the table with James right behind him.  
  
”I can’t leave you alone for ten minutes without supervision. Right, James?”  
”Quite right.”  
  
An equally amused James was standing next to him and John’s smile got even brighter.  
  
”Grab some chairs, honey. Ladies, this ginger here is my husband James and he’s not half as dangerous as he looks, I can assure you. And the blondie is Billy’s husband Ben and unfortunately a Scotsman, so lets hope he stays sober, or else we’ll get to hear him sing a drunken version of _Auld Lang Syne_ I would very much like to spare you.”  
  
Billy quickly continued.  
  
”James, Ben darling, this is Liza, Rachael and Valerie. And as you can see, my Scottish husband is definately more sober than the knitting, Aussie poodle.”  
”Hey, I’m getting the pattern just as nice as always! Valerie, don’t you agree?”  
  
John practically stuck his knitting in Valeries face, who looked like the night not only didn’t turn out the way she’d expected, but rather turning nuts. Ben rolled his eyes.  
  
”You’re using the wrong sticks, John. You should have size four with that yarn, or at least not knit that loosely.”  
”It’s supposed to be loose, you nerd.”  
  
Valerie, who among the other girls, had been silent as mices from the moment James and Billy sat down, looked at the four men, especially John and Ben.  
  
”So… you’re like married and you two bring your knittings to a bar?”  
”Oh, that’s only me”, John beemed. ”I get stir-crazy in crowded places if I don’t have my knitting.”  
”It’s clearly close to an addiction by now”, James added and John snorted.  
”You should know, ladies, that this ginger here, is a cruel man. One night, when I innocently went to bed, tired as shit, that dork was sitting on his side of the bed with fucking yarn all over the cover, knitting like a pro as if it was the most natural thing.”  
”I’d learned it in secret and decided to freak him out a little and it worked better than I’d hoped”, James said with a pleased smile.    
”I was hurt! Just taking up one of my hobbies without even asking for expert advice.”  
”It was a hard blow for me as well, when I caught Ben in the act”, Billy added with a fake pouting. ”Do you ladies have any idea how it feels to come home from work and find your husband knitting by the fire like some crazy cat lady?”  
”Of course you felt betrayed, Billy. Ben was quite cruel”, John said, looking so dead serious that Ben almost choked on his beer.  
”Utterly betrayed”, Billy answered with a puppy face and by then it was impossible to continue.  
  
The four men burst into laughter, while Ben tried to appologies to the women between the laughs.  
  
”Please, excuse us… But we really are just as dorky as it looks.”  
  
James nodded.  
  
”It’s all gardening, needlework and home cooked dinners with us. Well, Billy and Ben are maybe a little more wild with their motorbikes and close contact with in-laws, but mostly we’re all quite dorky. Boring and dorky. So, what are you ladies doing with your lives?”  
  
Clearly not knitting, gardening or preservation of food. Ben’s questions about their best advices on how to boil in plums and John’s insisting on telling them all about the Rowan collection and their new brand Pure Wool Superwash DK, made it very hard for Billy and James not to laugh. John, of course, had no problem to keep a straight face as his knits danced over the beer. James took one the yarn ball in his hand and looked at the brand.  
  
”Rowan… Not bad. Personally, I feel the Rowan’s turned a bit boring earlier, but I really like their Cypress, Indigo and Enamel.”  
  
John finished another turn on the sweater and changed color to white.  
  
”At first I thought Snow, who’s more bright white would be best, but Enamel has more softness, I think.”  
  
Ben nodded.  
  
”Yeah, the Snow 012 is beautiful, but it tends to stand out too much with blue. Their red, on the other hand… Kiss 036 is really, really nice. It goes so well with the Anthracite 003, especially in mittens and socks.”  
”Socks and mittens are a bit too advanced still”, John said while stroking a disobedient curl from his face and smiling at his husband. ”I hope James will let me teach him when he has more patience.”  
  
Billy smiled at the dumbstrucked women.  
  
”As you can see, we’re all more or less loonies here. This is what happens when you marry. You end up taking needlework to the pub and talking about food preservation. And speaking of food… I’ve tried for years now to make a really good raspberry meringue pie and I don’t understand why I can’t make it right! It’s so frustrating. It always ends up too gooey and I’ve tried _everything_ …”  
  
James shook his head.  
  
”I told you: it’s all about temperature. You should never use anything but really cold egg whites. The foam are much easier to work with. Rachael, what kind of eggs do you use?”  
  
The brunette, obviously had no idea she would end up listening to talks about yarn, plums and the best eggs to use in meringue, and looked completely lost.  
  
”Um… I’ve never made meringue.”  
  
Four pair of surprised eyes turned to her and John looked at her with false innocence.  
  
”Never made meringue? _Never?_ ”    
”Neither have I.”  
”Me neither.”  
  
Rachael, Valerie and Liza all looked as if the four men they just happened to have mistaken for available bachelors belonged to a cult. Ben looked at them with incredulous eyes, using his most Scottish accent:  
  
”But what are ye _doing_ then?”  
  
***  
  
”That was just cruel…”  
”But funny!”  
  
They were back at Ben’s and Billy’s house, all four of them basically laughing like loonies. John leaned to the wall wiping tears of laughter from his face.  
  
”I swear, Ben, I was about to crack at ’ _what are ye doooing_ ’. I was so close to loose it.”  
  
Ben shook his head, burying his giggle in his hands.  
  
”Billy, if you _ever_ bring up that fucking pie in public again, I swear I’ll hide the recipe and wont make one until you’re at least sixty. God, I thought I was gonna burst.”  
”Actually, we have raspberries …”  
  
Billy had opened the freezer and took out a big package of raspberries, smiling widely. James laughed.  
  
”Oh no, Billy, don’t even think about it! We’re all half drunk and we still have a lot to do tomorrow.”  
”And?”  
  
James, Ben and John looked helplessly at each other as Billy took out butter, sugar, flower, vanilla powder and a pie form. John rose his arms in surrender and tied up his hair.  
  
”Alright, you’re a looney, but I love that pie and we have a perfectly good excuse: teaching Billy to handle the meringue.”  
  
Ben laughed.  
  
” _You’re_ saying _my_ husband need to learn how to cook?”  
”Hush, Ben!”  
  
James put a hand over Ben’s mouth and whispered:  
  
”Imagine a dessert _you_ don’t have to make for once… Go get us some wine while I supervise these two.”  
  
***  
  
John let out a long, satisfied burp and James sighed.  
  
”Beautiful…”  
”A masterpiece only for you, darling.”  
  
It was about one o’clock in the morning and they were laying conked out on a mattress, with their bellies filled with booze, greezy food and raspberry meringue pie. Billy spooned Ben in the couch, nose buried in the blonde hair and more asleep than awake. John smiled in the darkness, nuzzling James chest.  
  
”You know what?”  
”What, poodle?”  
”I looked up the area and it turns out there is a yarn store within ten minutes walking distance from our flat.”  
  
James smiled.  
  
”You’re not still hurt, then?”  
”Maybe just a little. I may need some comfort kisses.”  
  
John pouted and James entangled his fingers in the messy curls.  
  
”Poodles wish, gingers grant. Tomorrow, I’ll give you more than kisses.”  
  
John smiled, already drifting away as his dork of a husband pressed a soft goodnight kiss on his lips.  
  
**THE END**


End file.
